Emotional dependency

Emotional dependency isn't healthy for you or your relationships, but you don't have to stay dependent forever. Reclaim your emotional independence by recognizing and breaking your old habits, learning to take care of your own emotional needs, fullfilling life for yourself.

How to overcome Emotional Dependency:

A. Breaking the pattern of dependency:

    1. Identify your fear: Most of the time, feeling of neediness or dependence are rooted in fear. Think about how you would feel if the person you're dependent on left. Ask yourself what in particular scares you about that scenario.

    2. Spend time alone: Find a time when you won't be interrupted, and sit quietly with yourself for a while. Notice where your mind goes and what kind of urges you experience. You may find some thought patterns or habits you weren't previously aware of.

    3. Strenghten your sense of identity: Think about who you really are when you are not trying to please anybody else. Identify your core values, the things you want to achieve, and your idiosyncrasies. Work on a buiding a sense of self that doesn't depend on external validation.

    4. Stop trying to control others: When you depend too much on other people, you may end up trying to control them or feeling miserable becuse you can't. Accept that other people have the right to their own thoughts, feeling and choices, and realize that these won't always involve you. Channel you energy into taking control of your own choices and thoughts.

B. Becoming emotionally healthy:

    1. Take responsability for your emotions: Accept that dealing with your feelings is your own job, not anybody else's. Realize that, while you may experience your emotions strongly, they don't define who you are or control what you do.

    2. Practice meeting your own needs: When you feel down, look for healthy ways to soothe yourself. Try giving yourself a pep talk, going for a walk, or writing in a journal.

    3. Build your sel-esteem: when you feel good about yourself, you're less likely to depend on  other people for attention or approval. Take stock of the things you like about yourself, and remind yourself of your good qualities frequently. Increase your self-esteem by challenging yourself to try new things and finding ways to help others.

    4. Accept other people's limitations. Look for the good in people, and keep your expectations reasonable. Don't get angry if someone occasionally disappoints you. Remind yourself that everyone has their own strength and weaknesses.

C. Living securely:

    1. Know what you want: Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live, and make a plan that will help you get there. Prioritize you own goals anda values instead of trying to please other people.

    2. Take charge of your schedule: Plan your shedule based on your own needs and wishes. Incorporate time for self-care and activities you enjoy, like visiting friends or going out to the movies. Don't let other people's plans dictate your life.

    3. Expand your social circle: Avoid becoming overly dependent on anyone by spending time with lots of different people. Stay in touch with your famil, and make plans to see your friends regularly. if your social circle is small, you can meet people through work, classes, or social clubs.

    4. Give to tohers: when you help other people, you'll feel dependable, no dependent. Reach out to your family and friends when they need some extra support, or look for volunteer opportunities in you area.

    5. Work towards interdependeny: Dependency isn't healthy, but neither is emotional isolation. As you break free of your old habits, seek out emotionally healthy people to spend time with. Cultivate relationsips based on mutual respect, honesty and empathy, not neediness.